Looking for Love in All the Right Places
If you’d have told me at 20 that I’d be single in my 50s, I’d have said, “No way!!” It wasn’t how I’d planned my life at all. I was aiming for true love and happily ever after, so imagine the disappointment I felt after my second divorce!
Initially, I resisted the idea of being alone. I thought there must be something wrong with me, and I was hell-bent on fixing that. But then over time, and with a good bit of self-reflection, something magical and unexpected happened!
After a few years of surviving on my own, I gained a new perspective on this unique period in my life. I had time to question everything I once knew about loving and being loved. This blog came out of that quest to find the source of my love and my joy. Yes, it was mostly a selfish endeavor.
While blogging, I began taking an honest look at what I was learning about being alone, both the exciting stuff and the difficult, painful parts of my solo journey. I can’t tell you how many times I revisited the same lessons over and over! It’s taken a lot of courage to keep going and not allow myself to get discouraged when I’m lonely, full of doubt and uncertainty. And yes, we all go there at times.
Do you ever feel disappointed by how life has unfolded for you?
Are you tired of waiting for someone or something else to make you happy?
Ever feel like things just aren’t over yet?
That there’s more, but you just don’t know how to make it happen?
Living as a single woman in isn’t a prison sentence, it’s a gift of freedom and self-discovery, a time of curiosity and self-trust.
Stick with me a minute here and let me explain.
All of the years I was focused on loving another, I’d overlooked the most important person in my life: ME! I was kind of like I waiting for someone else to make life real for me, to make things happen. And I let them take the lead. I placed all of my desires and needs on the back burner and ended up with a poor sense of who I was and what I wanted out of life. It took a little time of me being on my own to unlock the patterns I’d been living.
Living alone, I began to unravel secrets about self-love, things I might never have experienced while seeking the attention and approval from one significant other. In pursuit of self-love, I uncovered a sense of personal value I didn’t have in my intimate relationships. I’m not saying it’s impossible there, it just wasn’t my experience.
Over time, I found the voice of my authentic spirit which helped me to love and accept myself exactly as I am. I discovered that I’m okay on my own and that I enjoy my own company just fine. I found a sense of purpose and wonderment. I made many friends while not in a significant relationship, deep caring friendships that have been just as fulfilling and meaningful as any of the male/female relationships I’ve had in the past.
Just to be clear, I don’t have a problem with the idea of a relationship. I’d still be down with that. I’m just not putting my life on hold waiting for Mr. Right.
Because all I’ve got is “right now” and there’s a lot I want to do with what I’ve got. There are so many adventures that still remain for any woman like myself (or like you) and I want to say YES to them all, as many as I can squeeze into the time I have left.
When you find yourself alone, you have two choices: shut down and become bitter about life or open your heart to the mystery of who you are and why you’re here.
For me, there was only one real choice. Life seemed too important to waste it wallowing in the past and all that didn’t go my way. Something bigger was happening and I didn’t want to be left out, so I chose to open my heart and mind so Spirit could show me the way. And ever since then, I’ve been writing about my experiences with self-discovery and sharing them with men and women like you to help you:
Take back control of your life.
Develop the courage to say YES to your wants and needs.
Love the most important person in your life.
Create fulfilling relationships that bring love and light into your life.
Give yourself permission to have a rich life, full of passion and purpose.
The greatest gift we can give ourselves in this life is to prioritize our self-worth, self-love, self-care, and self-discovery – to learn to esteem ourselves highly and to recognize our beauty on our own terms – all things that lead to better, stronger, more fulfilling relationships in the long run. At least I want to believe that…
You see, when you open the door to your heart, your soul begins to express the language of real love. And even if it’s a foreign tongue to you in the beginning, it will teach you about why you’re here. It will teach you that your love is what you’ve been looking for and the greatest adventure of all is the one you take to discover the truth of who you really are.
I guarantee you, life’s not over yet. The best really is yet to come!
-Tracy, a girl on her own