It wasn’t always like this…
I grew up in a blended family. Actually from as long as I can really remember I’ve actually had two families. The one my mother made and the one my father made.
If you’ve had this experience you’ll know what I mean when I say it can sometimes be more of a competition than collaboration and now, as an adult, I understand why. When you expose children to two different lifestyles, they will want to choose. And as the old saying goes, the grass grows greener on the other side of the fence.
But we didn’t get to choose and that fact often caused sadness, frustration, and resentment. There were some very difficult years and there were hurt feelings. We weren’t a family that talked per se; our tendency was to suffer in silence. I think we did the best we could given the circumstances we had to navigate at the time.
But now, there are no choices to make.
My father is all I have left of those who were sent to create me, shape me and set me on my way. The same goes for all of my siblings…other than their in-laws, our father is all that remains of our growing up years. Our love for him has kept us coming back to each other despite our wounded egos.
Over the years we’ve found ways to blend this family even more. And through that, we’ve discovered that accepting each other is way easier and nicer than trying to change each other. We’ve learned that forgiveness is a self-centered thing we do to keep love alive. We’ve learned that our differences make our family resilient and strong.
My father has never backed away from loving anyone. He’s always embraced and loved the family that God put in his way. And because of that, we’ve each learned to love more than we thought we could. As our family grows, I think so does our capacity for love, forgiveness, and healing.
I suppose we all want it because he wants it. It’s what he’s always wanted; for us to love each other. It’s probably the reason he made us sit on the couch until we could kiss and make up. Love is always the answer. And I personally think it’s a small thing to ask considering how much he’s given us so far.